The Lice-ridden Feathers of Scuzzy Pigeon is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory vegetarianism, national health service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.264 billion Scuzzy Pigeons are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, although Industry, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of window ledge. The average income tax rate is 73.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Scuzzy economy, worth a remarkable 1,203 trillion crusts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Retail, Furniture Restoration, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,712 crusts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The only legal elections are for student body president, hay has been added to school cafeteria menus, there have been reports of people marrying housepets, and the National Archive now covers square miles of warehouses in order to accommodate its new stone tablets system. Crime is moderate. Scuzzy Pigeon's national animal is the louse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Scuzzy Pigeon is ranked 226,644^th in the world and 9^th in Hollow Point for Lowest Crime Rates, with 56.39 law-abiding acts per hour.