The Federal Republic of Trelatche is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Robert Anderson with a fair hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 21.51 billion Trelatcheans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mediete. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Trelatchean economy, worth a remarkable 2,641 trillion Simoleons a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 122,783 Simoleons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is rumoured that President Robert Anderson uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions, new government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps, medical experts advise that those claiming to be medical experts are probably fraudsters, and the right school tie opens more doors than the right qualification. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Trelatche's national animal is the penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Trelatche is ranked 275,877^th in the world and 5,007^th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -9.38 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.