The People's Republic of Soviet Jiffy Glue is a colossal, socially progressive nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, democratic population of 3.241 billion Soviet Jiffy Glueans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The very strong Soviet Jiffy Gluean economy, worth 190 trillion rubles a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 58,625 rubles, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

The rainbow assortment of chemicals in the water has turned the frogs gay, charity no longer begins at home, armed police units patrol the roads late at night, and in its new More is More campaign the government advertises obese men and women posing coquettishly with baked goods to spare their blushes. Crime is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Soviet Jiffy Glue's national animal is the Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Soviet Jiffy Glue is ranked 314,619^th in the world and 156^th in Hell for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -7.75 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.