The Cringeworthy Old Puppet of Sword of Jon Blackwolf is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jon Blackwolf with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, ban on automobiles, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 7.51 billion Cringelords have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nasicournia. The average income tax rate is 43.2%.

The Old economy, worth 286 trillion victories a year, is quite specialized and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 38,083 victories, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home, and heavy industry grinds to a halt as new equipment must be biked in. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sword of Jon Blackwolf's national animal is the black wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Defender Moralism.

Sword of Jon Blackwolf is ranked 254,719^th in the world and 4^th in LIA claimed lands for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 20.25 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.