The Republic of Tellesopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, national health service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cheerful population of 26.485 billion Tellesopians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Tellesopian economy, worth a remarkable 8,096 trillion Sellets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 305,684 Sellets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, Tellesopians refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns, news headlines suggest that Leader has a sideline in guinea pig pimping, and the building of bureaucratic rivalries has exceeded targets. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Tellesopia's national animal is the Wombat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tellesopia is ranked 559^th in the world and 20^th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 328.48 quips per hour.