The Commonwealth of Thalassian is a small, genial nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, hard-working population of 20 million Thalasssites have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.2%.

The Thalassianian economy, worth 1.23 trillion Ocean Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 61,312 Ocean Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

Washing-up liquid looks and smells like baby poo, a blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction, the government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system, and police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thalassian's national animal is the Prism Shark.

Thalassian is ranked 264,413^th in the world and 28^th in Elysion for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -7.39 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.