The Loving Couple of Whoa-Crikey- is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Caleb with an iron fist, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, keen interest in outer space, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.809 billion Whoa-Crikey-ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Latissa Inn. The average income tax rate is 72.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Whoa-Crikey-ian economy, worth 810 trillion snails a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 92,000 snails, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military has gone fission for more funding, motivational posters send motorists positive vibes in high-risk areas, it is a silent spring in Whoa-Crikey-, and the nation's diplomats are all talk and no action. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Whoa-Crikey-'s national animal is the owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cards.

Whoa-Crikey- is ranked 30,857^th in the world and 7^th in Deutschland for Highest Poor Incomes, with 74,098.49 Standard Monetary Units.