The Kingdom of Zlotii is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Michał II with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, rampant corporate plagiarism, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 13.188 billion Zlotiians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nowlpolsk. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Zlotiian economy, worth a remarkable 2,339 trillion Zloties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 177,414 Zloties, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children seem to be getting better at lying these days, on-duty Air Zlotii flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class, "Mad Max: Returning Again to Barrydrome" is this year's unexpected summer blockbuster, and Zlotiians ask their doctors whether chili peppers are right for them. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zlotii's national animal is the White eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Zlotii is ranked 1,135^th in the world and 26^th in 10000 Islands for Least Corrupt Governments, with 97.31 percentage of bribes refused.