by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 37thMost Armed: 49thHighest Crime Rates: 60th
The Impending Doom of
The car won't start!
Lone Survivor
Pure Evil
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Zombie Penguins

Population8.506 billion

CapitalOld Abandoned Zoo
LeaderLone Survivor


The Impending Doom of Zombie Penguins is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Lone Survivor with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of public education, absence of drug laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 8.506 billion Zombies enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Abandoned Zoo. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zombie Penguinsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,726 trillion Brains a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 320,506 Brains, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,817,108 per year while the poor average 27,639, a ratio of 65.7 to 1.

Military training in Zombie Penguins emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs, taxpayer-funded government ads are promoting Brancaland as a premier filming location, the automobile industry is sitting up and taking notice of the new 24 hour race events... as are the track's sleepless neighbours, and it is customary to begin the summer with a fasting ritual in which people eat nothing but kumquat smoothies. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zombie Penguins's national animal is the Fish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aaaahhhh.

Zombie Penguins is ranked 256th in the world and 1st in The Bar on the corner of every region for Most Avoided, scoring 2,602.98 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Rudest Citizens: 37thMost Armed: 49thHighest Crime Rates: 60thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 102ndLargest Gambling Industry: 121stFattest Citizens: 150thMost Avoided: 256thMost Rebellious Youth: 422ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 520thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 535thHighest Disposable Incomes: 548thLargest Retail Industry: 571stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 589thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 703rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 765thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 786thMost Secular: 846thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,023rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,201stHighest Average Incomes: 1,585thMost Efficient Economies: 1,702ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,041stLargest Mining Sector: 2,119thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,157thTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 3,028thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,097thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,548thHighest Economic Output: 4,654thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,552ndMost Cultured: 7,080thLargest Governments: 9,515thMost Stationary: 10,295thNudest: 10,310thMost Inclusive: 10,901stHighest Drug Use: 11,102ndTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 13,581stLargest Black Market: 14,242ndMost Pro-Market: 14,329thMost Influential: 14,451stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14,486thLargest Insurance Industry: 18,225th
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Stationary: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionTop
Largest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 7th in the regionLargest Governments: 8th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9th in the regionMost Cultured: 9th in the region

National Happenings

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