The Carrisonic empire of Bathelonat is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Holy Emperor Mardel Lonation I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, parental licensing program, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.21 billion Bathelonatians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cathair as lonat. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Bathelonatian economy, worth 762 trillion Lonates a year, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 181,079 Lonates, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition, peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop, sweet-toothed Bathelonatians have been left penniless by the VAT on candy, and citizens seem fixated on 105m x 45m rectangles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bathelonat's national animal is the Izzy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Carrisonism.

Bathelonat is ranked 119,304^th in the world and 103^rd in Conch Kingdom for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 1,129.45 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.