The Apathetic People's Republic of Keslataria is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Rob Robbins with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.425 billion Keslatarians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of *grunt* *mumble* *grunt*. The average income tax rate is 78.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keslatarian economy, worth 635 trillion Mehs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 143,514 Mehs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, the new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Keslataria's national animal is the Sloth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Passisivism.

Keslataria is ranked 269,509^th in the world and 5,998^th in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 10.72 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.