The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.95 billion PlanetMercuries are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 69.9%.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 2,959 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 330,619 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's interest in space is at an all-time high while interest in saving the planet is at an all-time low, elderly prisoners with severe dementia are reminded hourly that they are evil people by helpful nurse-wardens, an epidemic of unpopped kernels causes movie goers to gnash their teeth, and hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in PlanetMercury's many privately-owned prisons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 5,863^rd in the world and 274^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 112.84 law-abiding acts per hour.