The Colony of Agustine is a very large, orderly nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 281 million Agustineans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Danube. The average income tax rate is 51.0%.

The Agustinean economy, worth 17.9 trillion Euros a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 63,527 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens, frat-house partying has become the national pastime, the new Liquor Legitimacy Office is besieged with job applications from people who have experience in "statistical sampling methods", and consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Agustine's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Agustine is ranked 279,060^th in the world and 177^th in Corsair for Smartest Citizens, with 17.16 quips per hour.