The Free Land of Armistoca is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, avowedly heterosexual populace, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 363 million Armistocans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Armistocan economy, worth 39.3 trillion Saps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 108,167 Saps, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 341,541 per year while the poor average 26,167, a ratio of 13.1 to 1.

Adultery has been made a capital offence, practising saying 'how now brown cow' is an essential part of holiday planning, Armistocans firmly believe that their heroes never farted or popped their pimples, and war vets look after war animals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Armistoca's national animal is the Tnt Yeeter, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Armistoca is ranked 318,476^th in the world and 214^th in Fifth Empire for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -8.37 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.