The Colony of Tea Jol is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by DJ Moyer with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, unlimited-speed roads, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.617 billion Tea Jolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Galapagos. The average income tax rate is 76.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tea Jolian economy, worth 772 trillion kronor a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 167,281 kronor, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Rude retail employees are now even ruder homeless panhandlers, people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces, fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism, and unemployed accountants keep double-entry ledgers of their benefit claims. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Jol's national animal is the Boa constrictor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tea Jol is ranked 97,298^th in the world and 1,619^th in The East Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 1,942.38 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.