The Colony of Tea Jol is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by DJ Moyer with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 9.828 billion Tea Jolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Snake Island. The average income tax rate is 90.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Tea Jolian economy, worth a remarkable 2,261 trillion kronor a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 230,073 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

The military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds, wandering Tea Jolians are known for their one-track minds, barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Snake Island Natural History Museum, and DJ Moyer panders to nontraditional families. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Jol's national animal is the Boa constrictor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tea Jol is ranked 312,064^th in the world and 4,109^th in The East Pacific for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -34 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.