The Socialist Republic of Cuillin is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Madame Self with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, state-planned economy, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 28.896 billion Cuillinish are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Clydeside. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Cuillinish economy, worth a remarkable 5,265 trillion work credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 182,235 work credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

You gots to be part of the Party to get in to the party, the army lives rent-free in foreigners' heads and houses, the nation's streets have become a winter wonderland of salt and sand, and former gun owners are finding that brandishing paintball guns isn't as satisfying as the real thing. Crime is totally unknown. Cuillin's national animal is the Giant Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Marxism.

Cuillin is ranked 3,086^th in the world and 44^th in Forest for Smartest Citizens, with 165.09 quips per hour.