The Holy Empire of Eisen Fatherland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Hanz grott sheffel III with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 2.435 billion fatherlings have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Welfare and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bern. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 86.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Fatherlandian economy, worth 344 trillion Eisen franks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 141,500 Eisen franks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 527,866 per year while the poor average 26,594, a ratio of 19.8 to 1.

Anything is permissible when wearing latex gloves, men who wear pink are seen as dangerously unmanly, many fatherlings are their brothers' keepers, and Fatherlandian companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Eisen Fatherland's national animal is the Steinadler, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Zwinglianism.

Eisen Fatherland is ranked 290,421^st in the world and 7,076^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring -9.49 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.