The Democratic Republic of Haldeni is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Ernst Chladni with an even hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, compulsory military service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.848 billion Haldenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nicia. The average income tax rate is 72.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Haldenian economy, worth 286 trillion Halds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 154,948 Halds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

"Ernst Chladni got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom, this year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, building a phallus out of Minecraft blocks counts as indecent exposure, and the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Nicia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Haldeni's national animal is the Bull, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Haldeni is ranked 12,714^th in the world and 774^th in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 4,609.16 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.