The United Federal Republics of Ham Federation is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Karlotta with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, public floggings, and compulsory military service. The compassionate population of 11.572 billion Hamians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Flemery. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hamian economy, worth a remarkable 1,800 trillion Doll Hairs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 155,594 Doll Hairs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Babies are a small but significant export, a shocking number of estate planners are beneficiaries of their clients' wills, Karlotta's campaign events reach their climax when the celebrity endorsers reveal themselves, and doctors prescribe medicines produced by the last pharmaceutical company to give them a free pen. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ham Federation's national animal is the Hindslavic Hog, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ham Federation is ranked 8,853^rd in the world and 395^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 103.35 law-abiding acts per hour.