The Protectorate of Inner Selves is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 1.093 billion Inner Selves are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Core Identity. The average income tax rate is 30.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Inner Selvesian economy, worth 60.1 trillion thoughts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,982 thoughts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Toddlers are wielding machine guns in the name of national defense, the new Liquor Legitimacy Office is besieged with job applications from people who have experience in "statistical sampling methods", whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Inner Selvesian Embarrassments, and the government is deliberately installing bloatware onto computers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Inner Selves's national animal is the tressym, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Inner Selves is ranked 30,221^st in the world and 286^th in Europeia for Nicest Citizens, with 20.14 average smiles per day.