The Hawk of Jade1 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, enforced nudity, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, cynical population of 3.208 billion Jade1ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.1%.

The strong Jade1ian economy, worth 181 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 56,675 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.4 times as much as the poorest.

Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, women who are caught shoplifting are sent home to their fathers with a patronising pat on the bottom, and citizens must have a license to operate a computer. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Jade1's national animal is the horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Jade1 is ranked 231,371^st in the world and 12,497^th in Osiris for Nicest Citizens, with 11.33 average smiles per day.