The 𝔐𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪𝔰 of Kaladarka is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Pope Clemens II with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, national health service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.83 billion Kaladarkans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Environment, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nybodø. The average income tax rate is 91.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kaladarkan economy, worth a remarkable 1,748 trillion Kroner a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 161,415 Kroner, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Corporations cut costs by taking away safety-features on their products, war criminals are given full state funerals, electrocution deaths among computer technicians are at an all-time high, and business leaders are mailing Pope Clemens II forged birth certificates in a bid to win their rivals as serfs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kaladarka's national animal is the Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kawaiistianity.

Kaladarka is ranked 317,620^th in the world and 225^th in Wintreath for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -8.37 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.