The Free Land of Loechia is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Shrimpy DeShrimp with a fair hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 22.071 billion Loechians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loechia City. The average income tax rate is 71.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Loechian economy, worth a remarkable 3,088 trillion Novas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,940 Novas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminal convictions are routinely thrown out because the accused's grandmother didn't get to testify about their good character, Loechian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Shrimpy DeShrimp, insanely good theatre productions face government censorship, and airport announcements inform passengers that flights have been delayed because pilots are having afternoon naps. Crime is totally unknown. Loechia's national animal is the Loechian Bloodhound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Loechia is ranked 8,783^rd in the world and 335^th in Osiris for Rudest Citizens, with 122.82 insults per minute.