The Republic of Lointland is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Cam Schlittler with an even hand, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 11.158 billion Lointians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Verdanna-nya. The average income tax rate is 60.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Lointian economy, worth 882 trillion Lointian Dollars a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 79,049 Lointian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Saying "don't do anything that Cam Schlittler wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, all new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers, Lointian husbands are dead good at fathering kids, and Sea King is one of the most popular forenames in Lointland. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lointland's national animal is the Sea King, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Lointland is ranked 41,886^th in the world and 40^th in Corsair for Safest, scoring 105.24 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.