The Republic of Malcorian is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service. The democratic population of 2.774 billion Malcorianians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 17.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Malcorianian economy, worth 104 trillion lire a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Pizza Delivery, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 37,697 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, the tenet of free speech is held dear, and organ donation rates have hit a new low. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Malcorian's national animal is the porpoise.

Malcorian is ranked 66,020^th in the world and 36^th in Pacifism for Most Cultured, scoring 69 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.