The Dictatorship of Massive Country is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Geoffrey Ehpshtine with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, triple-decker prams, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.827 billion Massive Countryians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamatea. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.1%.

The all-consuming Massive Countryian economy, worth 187 trillion Dubloons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 102,740 Dubloons, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 589,351 per year while the poor average 8,625, a ratio of 68.3 to 1.

Public shaming has become the favoured form of punishment, street gangs rule most of the nation's major cities, people spend a lot on hair and nails, and survivors of the Great Internet Flame War often recount horror stories of banhammers and DOS attacks. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Massive Country's national animal is the Anteater, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sigmaism.

Massive Country is ranked 3,903^rd in the world and 2^nd in Penguin Land for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 6,914.84 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.