The Mazdaist Kingdom of Palaam is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Great King Artaxsaca IV with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 15.296 billion Palaamians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ahui Bat. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Palaamian economy, worth a remarkable 1,203 trillion tomen a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is 78,654 tomen, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 243,610 per year while the poor average 19,565, a ratio of 12.5 to 1.

Immigrants are required to salute the flag five times a day, a crusade against barbaric religious practices has begun, people have to sneak out of the country in order to have sex, and citizens must pay to enjoy Palaam's pristine beaches. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Palaam's national animal is the horse, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Mazdaism.

Palaam is ranked 302,027^th in the world and 32^nd in Western Atlantic for Nicest Citizens, with 0.98 average smiles per day.