The First Level of Pastaria is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its national health service, otherworldly petting zoo, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.491 billion Pastarians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Public Transport are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Evil Tree. The average income tax rate is 77.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Pastarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,057 trillion Golds a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. Average income is 45,012 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details, oil executives can be seen reluctantly cleaning oil-soaked birds, and popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Pastaria's national animal is the Twister, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Pastaria is ranked 243,065^th in the world and 8,888^th in Osiris for Highest Food Quality, scoring 8.21 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.