The Kingdom of Valhardt is a large, genial nation, renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 195 million Valhardtians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 41.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Valhardtian economy, worth 13.4 trillion Valmarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 68,700 Valmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Sexually-starved male dinosaurs terrorise tourists during weekly breakouts from Mesozoic Park, historic buildings are being demolished to allow for road-widening in the city centre, foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Valhardtian Moonshine", and senior literature classes are left analysing why Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm is so darn sunny. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valhardt's national animal is the Black Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Valhardt is ranked 160,385^th in the world and 83^rd in kingdom of Greater Esteriae for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 1,280.23 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.