The United Provinces of Clockwork Lands is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Landmaster Caecilia Clemens with a fair hand, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 7.743 billion Clockworklandians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coppergate. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Clockworkland economy, worth a remarkable 2,476 trillion vermunts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 319,797 vermunts, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,959,197 per year while the poor average 22,910, a ratio of 85.5 to 1.

Most people attending churches are maintenance workers, even secular Clockworklandians are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!", the government has an entire department dedicated to staring at microscopes and writing down letters, and politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls. Crime is totally unknown. Clockwork Lands's national animal is the sable, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Virtue.

Clockwork Lands is ranked 329,162^nd in the world and 199^th in The Kodiak Republic for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 9.9 on the Kitten Softness Rating.