The Blessed Kingdom of Custadia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Holy Emperor Strenst XXIX with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, enslaved workforce, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 26.543 billion Custadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krudzt. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The Custadian economy, worth a remarkable 5,360 trillion Teils a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 201,962 Teils, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Stores employing more than 100 employees are required to be at least twenty miles from any competitor, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, kids feel more beat up than ever after a hard day at school, and Holy Emperor Strenst XXIX is plotting to coup the Pacific (Custadia has found 3 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Custadia's national animal is the Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Custadia is ranked 327,137^th in the world and 2,371^st in the Rejected Realms for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -10.04 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.