The Republic of Dispatchito is a mammoth, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 5.529 billion Dispatchitoans, 5.261 billion of whom are zombies, are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 72.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Dispatchitoan economy, worth 249 trillion despacitoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 17,282 despacitoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, military spending recently hit a new high, and Dispatchitoan politicians spend a lot of time praising East Lebatuckese policies these days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dispatchito's national animal is the toucan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Dispatchito is ranked 62,973^rd in the world and 7^th in Dispatchia for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 572.3 on the Clooney Contribution Index.