The Inestimably Holy Empire of Gooblaria is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Chosen One with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, triple-decker prams, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 20.491 billion Gooblarians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Goobla. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Gooblarian economy, worth a remarkable 7,936 trillion Goobles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 387,303 Goobles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,003,395 per year while the poor average 40,678, a ratio of 49.2 to 1.

Boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers, online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas, 1% of global paper production is bound for the National Archive, and conversion therapy coupons are a popular present for coming of age ceremonies. Crime is totally unknown. Gooblaria's national animal is the Hyena, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Gooblaria is ranked 30,385^th in the world and 156^th in Europeia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.55 law-abiding acts per hour.