The Utopia of Valles Auri is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Lord Imperium with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 3.184 billion Valles Aurians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valeria. The average income tax rate is 66.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Valles Aurian economy, worth 356 trillion Valcens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 111,668 Valcens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why The Lord Imperium is a silly poophead, the Valles Auri Mental Asylum Party have recently won seats in parliament, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, and reporters sent to cover suspected UFO visits come back with stories about quilting bees. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valles Auri's national animal is the Blue Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Valles Auri is ranked 259,273^rd in the world and 185^th in The Land of Kings and Emperors for Rudest Citizens, with 24.24 insults per minute.