The Empire of Cassinea is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Johnny Bingus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, otherworldly petting zoo, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.636 billion Cassineans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anvil. The average income tax rate is 78.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Cassinean economy, worth a remarkable 1,247 trillion Crowns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 144,429 Crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Kids laugh off vandalism and arson as "just fun", conspiracy theorists allege Anvil's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols, arms manufacturing has been put at an arm's length, and international terrorists often get their weapons supply in Cassinea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cassinea's national animal is the Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Bingustry.

Cassinea is ranked 236,600^th in the world and 71^st in Conch Kingdom for Rudest Citizens, with 30.68 insults per minute.