The Federation of Kannap is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Daniel Sanders-Wood with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, strictly enforced bedtime, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.064 billion Kannapians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anderson. The average income tax rate is 98.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Kannapian economy, worth a remarkable 5,919 trillion kanmarks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 190,558 kanmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

With great power generation comes great responsibility, education and welfare spending are on the rise, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, and old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kannap's national animal is the red panda, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Church of Kannap.

Kannap is ranked 243,940^th in the world and 251^st in Forest for Most Cultured, scoring 63 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.