The Estados Unidos of El Norte is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 1.014 billion Nortenses enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hermosillo. The average income tax rate is 30.4%.

The strong Nortense economy, worth 69.9 trillion Peso Norteñoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 68,970 Peso Norteñoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Michelin-star chefs are being called on to prepare menus for six-year-olds, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, and El Norte has designated Hermosillo as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. El Norte's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

El Norte is ranked 18,781^st in the world and 12^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 5,194.12 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.