The Republic of United Kingdom of the Conch Kingdom is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Dardan Martin with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, frequent executions, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.434 billion Conchins love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Harner Bay. The average income tax rate is 30.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Conchin economy, worth 155 trillion Pezos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 63,689 Pezos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sex changes are routinely performed at United Kingdom of the Conch Kingdom's hospitals, bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes, graverobbers claim they're acting within the interest of 'scientific preservation', and Dardan Martin can often be seen hanging around playgrounds chatting with the kids. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. United Kingdom of the Conch Kingdom's national animal is the Penguin and its national religion is Protestantism.

United Kingdom of the Conch Kingdom is ranked 22,280^th in the world and 102^nd in Conch Kingdom for Nicest Citizens, with 21.52 average smiles per day.