The Allied States of Schwertland is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Hammer with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, unlimited-speed roads, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 22.061 billion Schwertlandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schwertburg. The average income tax rate is 4.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schwertlandian economy, worth a remarkable 7,740 trillion Pfennigs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 350,861 Pfennigs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention, every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, Slavionik is one of the most popular forenames in Schwertland, and a major piece of minority legislation allows a majority of minority interests to majorly undermine majority politics. Crime is totally unknown. Schwertland's national animal is the Slavionik, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Reform Athenism.

Schwertland is ranked 10,888^th in the world and 285^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Corrupt Governments, with 147.6 kickbacks per hour.