The Eggdog-Abundant Haven of United States Of Alpha is a massive, genial nation, ruled by JustBry4 with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 1.97 billion Alphanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utopiatopia. The average income tax rate is 68.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alphanian economy, worth 341 trillion pingas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 173,198 pingas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass", recognizing the Alphanian flag qualifies you for citizenship, and ratings for schools' curricula range from 'Pure as the Driven Snow' to 'Late Night TV'. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. United States Of Alpha's national animal is the eggdog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Internet-Phenomenist Eggdogism.

United States Of Alpha is ranked 45,448^th in the world and 832^nd in the Rejected Realms for Most Pacifist, with 105.92 cheeks turned per day.