The Combined Syndicates of Golinistan is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Nobody with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, anti-smoking policies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful population of 7.339 billion Golinistanis are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of None. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Golinistani economy, worth a remarkable 1,651 trillion Nones a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 225,050 Nones, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens, the carbon footprint falls along with the human footprint during war, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, and the nation has an international reputation for compassion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Golinistan's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Golinistan is ranked 326,861^st in the world and 807^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -10.04 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.