The United Socialist States of Sarmanov is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Gulina Yakovna with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate population of 10.286 billion Sarmanovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kopilev. The average income tax rate is 83.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Sarmanovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,000 trillion Druans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Uranium Mining. Average income is 97,300 Druans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's nothing special about Gulina Yakovna, lobotomies haven't been the same after the practice was severed, in the mighty jungle the lion once again sleeps tonight, and mums always ask their three-year-olds for permission before hugging them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sarmanov's national animal is the Black Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Sarmanov is ranked 161,293^rd in the world and 295^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 636.35 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.