The United republic of Polonialia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by His excellency Matt with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.616 billion Polonialians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sawnia. The average income tax rate is 42.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Polonialian economy, worth 734 trillion Złotans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 159,156 Złotans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary, military spending is on the increase, anyone with an emergency on a holy day is advised to pray harder, and the recycled air in planes is nauseating. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Polonialia's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Polonialia is ranked 145,362^nd in the world and 436^th in Europe for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 938.29 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.