The Federal Republic of North Alpinia is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by President Eugene Gentner with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, otherworldly petting zoo, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate population of 8.181 billion Alpinians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Memelstadt. The average income tax rate is 67.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alpinian economy, worth 899 trillion Alpinian Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 109,957 Alpinian Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prison reforms have replaced communal luaus with communal loos, there's no such thing as bad publicity, blue bloods are welcome in North Alpinia, and children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Alpinia's national animal is the Barn Swallow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

North Alpinia is ranked 223,645^th in the world and 445^th in Europe for Fattest Citizens, with 8.61 Obesity Rate.