The Commonwealth of Zepolmar is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and compulsory military service. The democratic, devout population of 1.216 billion Zepolmarians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government prioritizes Spirituality, although Administration, Defense, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zepol. The average income tax rate is 11.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Zepolmarian economy, worth 57.2 trillion rontas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 47,021 rontas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity, the thrash metal version of the national anthem is topping charts, Zepolmarians suffer not the eggplant emoji to live, and the nation's new flagship trading company deals exclusively in things no one wants. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zepolmar's national animal is the seal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Zepolmar is ranked 42,560^th in the world and 143^rd in Starlight for Most Cultured, scoring 74 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.