The United Republic of Abalucia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by President Victoria Hershall with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 12.372 billion Abalucians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The enormous, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Drayton. The average income tax rate is 94.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Abalucian economy, worth a remarkable 1,864 trillion Merits a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 150,670 Merits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Comedians who make offensive jokes have their ticket proceeds seized, officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists, old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones, and descriptions of properties as "a stone's throw from the city centre" require a trebuchet to be true. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abalucia's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Senalism.

Abalucia is ranked 250,199^th in the world and 661^st in Europe for Highest Drug Use, scoring 54.54 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.