The United People's Republic of Great Whiteland is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Prezident Dòbry with an even hand, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, daily referendums, and aversion to nipples. The devout population of 4.513 billion Whitelanders are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ŋotokỳ-Jàmuh Koþtàntinuh Tàlkyl Vunò. The average income tax rate is 37.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Whitelandic economy, worth 436 trillion Whitelandic New Dàrðy-Labàs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 96,711 Whitelandic New Dàrðy-Labàs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Employers are never quite sure if graduates' qualifications have any merit or meaning, treason is relative, the government spends twice as much reclaiming lost settlements from the sea as it could've on coastal defences, and you need a signed affidavit from a registered psychiatrist to claim that you have crazy low prices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Great Whiteland's national animal is the double-headed eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodoxy.

Great Whiteland is ranked 229,433^rd in the world and 467^th in Europe for Fattest Citizens, with 8.36 Obesity Rate.