The Free Land of Stolbytia is a mid-sized, orderly nation, notable for its closed borders, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 95 million Stolbytians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, well-organized government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 47.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Stolbytian economy, worth 6.89 trillion Kwartjebytes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 72,572 Kwartjebytes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Soldiers must key in their passwords every time they want to reload their weapons, property subletting is going underground, serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk, and the constant playing of Merry Birthday on Stolbytian radio has led to calls for the song to be classified as a crime against humanity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stolbytia's national animal is the Raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Stolbytia is ranked 120,991^st in the world and 2,191^st in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 65 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.