The Republic of Ballaria is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.417 billion Ballarians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Balleth. The average income tax rate is 47.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ballarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,080 trillion Doubloons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 316,325 Doubloons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

This year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, going on a diet invalidates your passport, search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards, and Ballarian tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ballaria's national animal is the Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ballaria is ranked 318,880^th in the world and 4,154^th in the South Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -20.98 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.